#I don’t doubt some communication devices were saved in the apocalypse but not *all* of them

[no1ryomafan]

Need to get back on the grind today and watch G Gundam but watching this show makes me think about one thing I’ve been overthinking a lot in anime where we have a story that either has characters from multiple countries, not just Japan OR we explicitly do have a story that ISN’T in Japan which leads to the conclusion of “there’s no way everyone is actually speaking Japanese here” and this shit always rattles my fucking brain despite the fact I’m watching this dubbed.

[nivalvixen]

Selfie (memories)

Also on AO3

...

To say that Crowley invented the selfie is a lie. It's not even a stretch of the truth or a little white lie or any other sort of twisted truth. In fact, Aziraphale invented selfies by accident, as is often the way with Aziraphale. It came about because of food, as is always the way with Aziraphale. (Crowley did invent the selfie stick, though, so that's just as good in his books. Or bad, depending whose books you're reading.)

 Aziraphale had been fascinated by photography since the camera was first invented, though not as fascinated as his books, of course. The camera was still something he appreciated, the idea to capture a moment in time and keep it forever, to remember it again even when the moment or memory itself was long gone. The reason Aziraphale had created the selfie was to send a photo of himself with his plate of crepes to Crowley, who was the only other being on Earth who would have understood the joke.

 (Crowley hadn't wanted to twist the precious thing Aziraphale had shared with him, but Hastur had tempted three priests and Ligur had tempted an actual archbishop, so Crowley had needed something big. He still felt his stomach twist anytime someone reminded him of the selfie and his hand in it. His stomach doesn't twist when it's about the selfie stick, which he really doesn't get enough credit for.)

Aziraphale often wished he had had a camera during the last six thousand years, even if there were parts he hadn't truly enjoyed and would prefer to forget, there were also moments that made him smile and his chest ache. He didn't have a human heart, of course, but his body was made up of his soul and for some reason, his chest always seemed to have an ache when he thought of the tender moments, the unexpected moments, the smack-in-his-face realisation as a bomb was dropping on them in a church with Crowley standing there - almost dancing, in fact - and announcing it would take a miracle to save them both. Aziraphale had done it and saved them, but Crowley had saved his books. His soul aches at the memory and Aziraphale knows a camera would never be able to capture that moment. Still, he'd like to think it would try its best, just like humans always did.

 A hundred and eighty-ish years after the invention of the selfie, and a few weeks after the Almost Apocalypse, Crowley and Aziraphale stopped outside of the bookshop for one of their reminiscing nights, both planning on talking about the last six thousand years without saying anything too important or revealing, and getting absolutely drunk on Aziraphale's good wine. They'd been celebrating nearly every night since the Almost Apocalypse and had no plans to stop.

 Before Aziraphale could get out of the Bentley, Crowley handed him an iPhone, saying they needed it to communicate with each other if they weren't home, and promptly got out without waiting for a response. Aziraphale, who had thought his telephone was already quite good - he was the reason Crowley still had an antique answering machine, though Aziraphale didn't know that - took a moment to navigate through the human device. It was similar to the phone Michael had, but also severely lacking in so many ways, and thus it was far too awkward to navigate without prior knowledge or an instruction manual.

 Or perhaps there could be an instruction book, he mused, though doubted it would be one of his prized possessions like his first edition signed prophecy books and bibles.

 A surprised shout from inside the Bentley had Crowley opening the door immediately to check on Aziraphale, who was sitting there wide-eyed and a little pale.

 "I apologise. I accidentally turned the camera on and I saw myself. I didn't expect it. Or my chins," Aziraphale muttered, stroking his chin curiously and thinking about Gabriel's comment about needing to lose his gut.

 "Your chin is fine, angel. Would you get out of the car now? I don't want your smell to take over the new car smell," Crowley said with a glare.

 "You've had the car for seventy years, Crowley; the new car smell doesn't exist in here anymore," Aziraphale said, sniffing and frowning.

 "It had better," Crowley growled.

 Somewhere in London, deep in the bowels of his apartment, Crowley's houseplants shuddered.

 "Well, I suppose you're right - "

 Crowley frowned as he saw Aziraphale stroke his chin once more. The front-facing camera was obviously his idea; who knew humans would do with something like that, especially after they ruined the normal back-facing cameras with dick pics? He sure as Heaven didn't know what they would do and that was why Crowley had a love-hate relationship with all of humanity. Humanity's imagination surpassed his own and they could leave him slack-jawed at the things they thought of or did as a result, sometimes both good and bad ways.

 He had thought the same about Warlock when he'd been his sort-of godfather, and wondered if this was the way all godfathers felt about all of their godchildren: amazed and awed and wanting to strangle the brats for being so bloody stupid when they had the potential to be so damn smart.

  Dick pics, really, humanity?! That's what you're using your big brains for?! Not as big as dolphins or whales, of course, but bigger than a gnat or the average Hell-shrunk demon, and that's what you think of?!

 Crowley snarled, shook his head, and sat in the driver's seat once more, closing the Bentley's door behind him. "What did you do, angel?"

 "Hmm?"

 "The camera," Crowley prompted, sternly telling himself that he wasn't endeared by Aziraphale's absent-minded expression and that soft little smile he had sometimes.

 For God's, the Devil's, someone's sake, he was going soft.

 Aziraphale was surprised by the request but did as Crowley asked and took the photo this time, showing it to him.

 Crowley grinned at the sight of Aziraphale's face caught on the phone screen and fiddled with a few buttons to send the photo to himself, deleting the sent message so Aziraphale wouldn't know.

 "Oh, don't laugh at me. You know I hate it when you mock me," Aziraphale said, his mouth turning to a pouting frowning thing that Crowley also had a love-hate relationship with.

 "You love me," Crowley replied, grinning wickedly.

 Aziraphale gaped and looked ready to protest, but took the phone from Crowley and got out of the Bentley without a response. Crowley followed Aziraphale across to his bookshop, a little surprised to see Aziraphale pointing the phone at himself and frowning at each result. Rolling his eyes behind his sunglasses, Crowley opened the door and walked in, grabbing the phone out of the angel's hand as Aziraphale muttered about miracles.

 "You're doing it wrong, angel. You don't need a miracle, you need a longer reach," Crowley murmured, holding the phone up, snapping a photo of the two of them together and throwing the phone back to Aziraphale, who caught it with a slight fumble.

 "I don't need a longer - oh, well. That's not bad, now is it?" Aziraphale said, smiling brightly and looking far too similar to the first sunrise Crowley had seen.

 The first sunrise Crowley had seen had been the first sunrise anyone had seen, of course. It was the first time light had existed and Crowley had snuck out of Heaven to have a look at God's work when he was meant to be meeting Lucifer and the other angels for what would probably have been an exceptionally boring discussion about stars or dinosaurs or something. There was something breathtaking about that first sunrise with its brilliant reds and soft pinks and mix of blues and purples and several other colours that humans would never be able to see, stardust still sparkling in the sky of Earth. Even Crowley, who hadn't needed to breathe as such, had felt breathless at the sight. He felt the same way every time Aziraphale smiled that soft smile at him and Crowley still didn't know what to do about it. He'd already saved the angel's books, hadn't he?

 "Angel, would you get the wine already?" Crowley asked with a sigh.

 Aziraphale realised with a start that he was being remiss in his duties as a host and hurried to get the bottles of wine he'd promised Crowley. Curious about the photo now that Aziraphale wasn't in the room, Crowley grabbed the phone and looked at the photo he'd taken. Aziraphale looked adorably flustered, Crowley scowling at the camera, and Crowley wondered how long it'd take humans to make something that could print photos from the phone.

 A small suggestion to a techie should do it, Crowley mused, even as he sent the photo to himself and deleted the evidence again.

 The background of Aziraphale's contact number would be fire - the warmest thing in Hell and providing nothing but comfort for a demon like him, even if he did saunter vaguely downwards rather than Fall - but the contact photo would be Aziraphale's flustered face and looking at Crowley.

 "You don't smile in your photos," Aziraphale said, almost admonishing as he returned with their alcohol.

 "Mmhmm," Crowley said, gesturing in a 'give me the alcohol already, angel' motion.

 Aziraphale raised an eyebrow and huffed a sigh, already pouring their drinks. "You should try being more patient, Crowley."

 "I tried it once. Worst ten seconds of my life. Well, except for the fourteenth century. That was definitely the worst. Fifth and sixth centuries tie for second; too damp," he muttered, accepting the glass and taking a long drink of wine. He looked at the bottle Aziraphale set down next to him, squinting at the label in approval.

 As planned, they proceeded to reminisce and celebrate and get very drunk.

 "It still surprises me that you were the Black Knight," Aziraphale said, shaking his head from where he was draped in his armchair awkwardly. "Before I knew that, I thought I could turn you to the light, you know."

 Crowley snorted. "Doesn't surprise me, angel. I thought I'd be able to tempt you over to my side before I knew," he admitted, drinking deeply.

 "We cancelled each other out, like you said," Aziraphale said, frowning. "Do you think we do that now? Cancel each other out?" he asked, blinking owlishly and drinking down the last of his bottle.

 It was only a small miracle that his glass refilled on its own, really.

 "Not what I meant, angel. I meant the... power thing," Crowley said, waving his bottle carefully - even drunk, he knew better than to spill wine on Aziraphale's books.

 "The power thing," Aziraphale echoed in agreement, nodding firmly. He glanced down at his stomach, a frown forming. "I don't have chins, you know."

 "Angel, honestly, I'll use a miracle to make you forget if I have to."

 "It doesn't work that way, Crawley. Crowley," Aziraphale corrected, frowning at himself.

 A few thousand years knowing Crowley as Crawley still hadn't cancelled out the other thousand years knowing Crawley as Crowley, it seemed.

 "I know, I know. But you're an angel, you don't have that human thing about doubt and self-pretty."

 "Self-pretty?"

 "Self-pity. Shut up, I'm drunk."

 "So'm I. I'm pretty, aren't I?" Aziraphale asked, innocent when drunk, just as he'd been in the beginning.

 "'Course you are, angel. Always have been, always will be."

 It was too close to a confession, too close to the truth, too important and definitely too revealing. Crowley hoped they could stay drunk a little longer so they'd forget he'd said anything.

 "So are you, Crowley. Like, like... like a camera."

 Even drunk, that didn't make sense.

 "What?"

 "A camera," Aziraphale repeated, more emphatically this time, though still not making any sense. "You know, keeping memories and, and... I'm still drunk, aren't I?"

 "Very drunk, angel."

 "Yes, I am an angel. You're a demon, but... you're still... I mean, just - " Aziraphale blinked owlishly.

 Crowley was either too drunk or not drunk enough for this. These nights weren't meant to be for important things, but this night was crossing a line from reminiscent into revealing. He wondered if being sober would be better, but couldn't bring himself to ask, waiting for Aziraphale to finish his sentence.

 "Cameras keep important things," Aziraphale said triumphantly.

 Crowley definitely wasn't drunk enough. Aziraphale, on the other hand, certainly was. His snores filled the bookshop in a way that his books never could. Crowley sighed, taking his sunglasses off and rubbing his eyes. Sobering them up took a small miracle and Aziraphale continued to sleep even as Crowley left the bookshop to return home.

 He had to water his plants anyway.

 ...

 The next morning, Crowley turned off his alarm and opened his bedroom curtains, sans sunglasses. He got up early to watch the sunrise every morning. While sleeping was something Crowley did with pride (and to the confusion of other demons), sleep was only the prelude to the morning sunrise. Watching the sun come up over the horizon, the sky filled with pinks and reds and blues and a few other colours no humans could see or describe, Crowley felt just as awed as he had that first time. Just as awed as he felt every time he saw Aziraphale smile.

 Fuck.

 Crowley wondered if there was any point in telling Aziraphale the truth. He didn't want to ruin their six-thousand-year friendship, after all, and he wasn't exactly subtle anyway. Surely Aziraphale had to know how Crowley felt? What if he did and he didn't feel the same way, but didn't want to lose his best friend, so hadn't said anything about it?

 The logic hurt Crowley's head as well as his chest, and he contemplated what he could do.

 He doubted he could stay away from Aziraphale. It was like Aziraphale was an angel-shaped magnet and Crowley was a burnt piece of metal, struggling not to go to him, but knowing there was nothing he could do to fight against the inevitable. Except, in this case, the magnet wanted nothing to do with him. The metal, the demon, whatever, both.

 Crowley turned away from the sunrise to put the fear of Crowley into his houseplants while he tried to use his imagination to think of a way to stop the pain in his chest that rivalled even the holiest of holy water held in a tartan thermos.

 ...

 Aziraphale woke without a hangover which was nothing short of a miracle and certainly not one of his. Blinking and licking his dry lips, Aziraphale looked around the bookshop for Crowley. The bookshop was silent around him and Aziraphale told himself he wasn't disappointed by the fact. He looked over to the window, surprised to see the sun rising. He hadn't fallen asleep in... well, a decade. That decade had usually involved Aziraphale reading throughout the night and the sunrise wasn't something he had actually paid attention to for an even longer time. However, this morning it felt important and Aziraphale made his way to the top of the bookshop to watch the sun rising over the horizon.

 He watched the sky change colours overhead and thought about the last six thousand years. Crowley was always there, always at the important parts, and even the ones that weren't so important. Running into him in Rome had been a surprise and one that Aziraphale took almost two thousand years to realise and admit to himself that had been a pleasant surprise.

 Crowley always went too fast for Aziraphale and he felt like he was struggling to keep up, always falling behind, sinking in quicksand, and yet... and yet, Crowley always pulled him out of the sand, brushed him off, and kept him by his side.

 It wasn't like Aziraphale couldn't have made it out of the quicksand on his own, of course, he certainly could. It was just he liked being by Crowley's side, the metaphorical feel of Crowley's hand in his, and pulling him up to the surface. Crowley made sense when all other things in the world didn't, even (or perhaps especially) if it was part of the Ineffable Plan.

 He took a photo of the sky with his new iPhone, used a miracle to make it look exactly as he saw it, and sent it to Crowley. He wanted to share the sunrise with him, even though he knew Crowley would probably be asleep.

 Aziraphale was surprised to receive a response in seconds and not one full of swearing, either.

 Beautiful, angel.

 Aziraphale smiled then, his chest-heart-soul filling with love and warmth. He wondered if Crowley's offer to show him his apartment still stood, though it had been almost thirty years since the initial offer. He'd better not ask though, that could be considered rude, and Crowley had just been grateful for the holy water. It wasn't like he was offering to... ahem... dance.

 There is exactly one angel who can dance and while every demon can dance, they don't do it well. There is only one demon the angel wants to dance with, anyway. The gavotte is out of style, but Aziraphale is certain that Crowley could teach him how to dance, showing him the steps, and keeping him by his side the whole time.

 ...

 Crowley received the photo from Aziraphale far too early in the morning, and he knew then - just as certainly as he knew in the burning bookshop - that the angel loved him just as he loved his angel. The message washed away all of his self-doubt (self-pretty, a snarky hiss said in the back of his mind, Crowley's mouth twitching at the reminder of the night before) and he replied immediately.

 Deciding he had to go through with his plan now that he'd planned the damn thing, Crowley clicked his fingers and left the apartment, sunglasses on and dressed to impress.

 ...

 Aziraphale startled at the knock at the door, frowning when he saw the time; seven o'clock was too early for God, so it was definitely too early for his bookshop to be open. "We're closed!"

 "It's me, angel."

 Surprised at Crowley's voice and feeling a smile on his face, Aziraphale hurried over to open the door, only to see a bright camera flash in his eyes.

 "Ow, fuck."

 "Well, angel, there's no need for that kind of language," Crowley said, mock-serious and grinning when Aziraphale looked at him when his eyes adjusted properly.

 "What are those?" Aziraphale asked, frowning at the sight of Crowley with several cameras slung around his neck.

 "Cameras. They're for you."

 Aziraphale looked pleased and confused at the same time. Crowley's chest ached again. "Crowley? Why did you get me cameras?"

 "I..."

 Sometimes plans don't always go the way people - or demons - expect them to go. In this case, Crowley thought his plan was obvious when to outsiders - or angels - it was simply confusing.

 "Cameras, um... no, I..." Crowley floundered; what had made perfect sense in his head only a few hours ago was now too difficult to put into words.

 Aziraphale remembered his comment about cameras the night before and how he'd compared Crowley to one in a drunken haze. He smiled as he began to understand Crowley's plan and Crowley felt the ache in his chest ease at the sight.

 "They keep memories and I wanted you to make memories. With me, angel," Crowley added, hating how uncertain (how human) his voice sounded.

 If Crowley had thought the first sunrise was bright, it paled in comparison to Aziraphale's smile then.

 "All of my memories are with you already, Crowley. The important ones, at least," Aziraphale said. "Won't you come in? I... I've been meaning to ask you about dancing."

 "Oh, thank God," Crowley said, stepping into the bookshop to kiss his angel, Aziraphale welcoming him with open arms and an open soul.

 ...

 You're welcome.

 ...

The end.

[likethetailofacomet]

The End Is Here- Ch. 4- The Family We’ve Found

AN ENDLESS SUMMER ZOMBIE APOCALYPSE AU

This all started when @zaffrenotes sent me a prompt asking how Jake and Kara would meet in a zombie apocalypse au. So, thanks, D! Because now i’m obsessed with sweaty, bloody, dirty end of the world Jake and Kara. Ah, true love.

Warning: there will be violence, blood, death and adult relations in this series. this chapter also touches on sexuality/ coming out. 

(happy to include this chapter for day 5- Craig and Zahra -with some Diego in there since I missed that sweet cinnamon roll’s day yesterday- of @brightpinkpeppercorn and @mysteli ES APPRECIATION WEEK)

Tagging: @sleepwalkingelite @ooo-barff-ooo @zaffrenotes @endlessly-searching-for-you @brightpinkpeppercorn @mind-reader1 @mysteli @agent-bossypants @endlesstaylormckenzie @indiacater @endlesshero1122 @akrenich @feartheendlesssummer @sophie-summer @beccasbadchoices @nekkidmolerat @cordoniantrash @choices-is-life @choiceslife @simmerbychoices @blackcatkita @edgydepressedchoicesthot this is an ongoing series so if you would like to join (or leave) the fray, let me know! 

tunes: FOR EVERYONE but especially Jake and Kara- Wonderwall- cover by Ryan Adams

Backbeat the word was on the street 

That the fire in your heart is out 

And I'm sure you've heard it all before 

But you never really had a doubt

I don't believe that anybody

 Feels the way I do

 About you now

Diego felt a weight lift from his shoulders as he looked over to where Kara and Jake sat and saw them tenderly twined together, Jake resting against Kara’s chest, her fingers trailing lightly along his arm, her lips pressed into his hair. They were tired and dirty, cold and hungry and Jake had seen far better days, but despite his brush with death, despite Kara almost losing him as she held him, they both radiated love and happiness. Diego let out a heavy sigh, relieved that his best friend wouldn’t have to suffer yet another devastating loss. He’d been there for her through losing Garrett and April; had barely been able to help her hold it together. He knew he’d have been hopeless in helping her through losing Jake. Their love was the dangerous kind- the kind that lights your life with so much MORE, but also the kind that grew so large and so infinite that it became impossible to live without. Diego was glad she wouldn’t have to try. Kara could do a lot of things. She was easily his most capable, confident, independent friend. She was smart, with sharp wit, and she protected her friends fiercely. There was nothing he thought Kara couldn’t do, except maybe get over losing Jake. 

Diego knew how hard it was to lose someone suddenly. He’d lost his family that way, before the world had changed. It was a Thursday afternoon, he remembers, even though days of the week didn’t matter anymore. He’d finally talked himself into calling them and telling them the truth he’d only just admitted to himself; there was a particular guy in his Film Appreciation class, and Diego found himself letting his eyes wander a few desks over to watch him adjust his glasses, or tuck his pen behind his ear. He’d found that he’d taken to going to the library when he knew Adam would be there. He’d found himself unable to deny anymore what he’d known for a while. Kara, of course, had been supportive and hadn’t made a big thing about it, stating that he was her friend no matter who he chose to ogle. He’d never imagined his parents would react like they did. He never imagined that’s how he would lose them. He didn’t think of them anymore, didn’t wonder how they were faring in this new world; to him, his parents had died the day that they told him they had disowned him. He didn’t think of Adam anymore, either. Nothing had come of the two of them. Diego had never made a move. But he couldn’t think of him being chased by the undead, or starving in some cold abandoned motel room, or becoming one of those things. He couldn’t think of him tapping his pen on his notebook or munching on peanuts from his messenger bag, either, though, so he didn’t think of him at all. He only thought about the people he had in his life now, and how he could hold on to them.

He thought about the close calls he and Kara had before meeting up with Craig and Zahra and eventually Jake. He thought about how he’d had to learn, quickly, how to use weapons, how to defend himself, how to think on the fly. Kara had always been a quick thinker, but Diego was more introspective, took more time with his thoughts and his plans. This world left no time for wondering. He had to learn how to act. Kara had helped him learn and grow and accept himself and hold his head high. It was no surprise that she continued to help him learn and grow and accept even as the subject matter changed. He was more grateful for her friendship than most things in life, but he was starting to become even more grateful for the love that Jake was giving her; for the fact that his best friend who always looked after him had someone looking after her, too.

He’d noticed Kara and Jake falling for one another well before they were close to admitting it. He’d overhear them whispering late into the night when they thought everyone else was asleep, quiet snickering laughter sometimes punctuated with a snort coming from Jake, breathy, humming giggles slipping from Kara. He’d seen the way they started sleeping next to one another; how they’d gotten closer and closer until one chilly night when Jake saw her shiver, he reached over and pulled her to him, wrapping his arm around her and saying, “Come here, princess, I won’t bite ya.” She’d tentatively laid her head in the crook of his shoulder and let him keep her warm as she drifted off to sleep. Diego remembered how Jake had stayed awake a little longer, watching her sleep, softly stroking her hair, and he knew. He knew he was watching two people fight against the love that they were destined for, the love that would end up saving them both from this world by giving them something to hold on for.

He looked over to where Craig and Zahra were leaning against the wall beside him, Zahra tucked against her bear of a husband, his big strong arm draped around her shoulders. They might seem to some like a strange couple, but Diego saw deeper. He saw how they kept each other balanced, how they worked seamlessly not only as husband and wife, but as friends and partners. He remembered the night they all decided to share their stories- the stories of how they’d ended up sitting around that campfire in the woods of what used to be West Virginia on that crisp September night. Craig had shared that his parents and brother had been away, visiting family in Taiwan, when The Incident occurred. He had called them, before the lines went dead and the power went out. He’d told them not to come home, not to come back. He’d told them that he loved them and that he’d miss them and that he and Zahra would do anything they could to stay alive and hopefully see them again one day. It had been tough on Craig, but ultimately he was glad that he hadn’t had to worry about them the way he was sure they were worrying about him. At least his family had made it out, unlike Zahra’s.

Zahra and her father had been on to something fishy at R & P Corp. for years- the whole company was fishy, really. Everett Rourke and Silas Prescott were two of the most controversial figures in the modern world, and had spent years as rivals. The fact that they had suddenly decided to put decades of trying to run the other out of business aside raised red flags in the dark web community, and Zahra’s father had decided to do some digging into the company’s files- the redacted ones. Two weeks before The Incident Zahra had received a phone call from someone using a voice changing device, telling her that her father was dead and she was next if she didn’t give up her investigation into R & P Corp. She’d thrown the phone in a fit of rage- thrown it right through the window of their living room, the shattering glass calling Craig’s attention and sending him barreling down the stairs to find his wife kneeling on the floor, her face in her hands and broken glass all around her. And she was screaming, wailing like he’d never heard, like her soul was tearing itself to ribbons. Zahra’s father was her role model, her hero- less “Daddy’s little girl” and more “Daddy’s little rebel”, she felt her spirit break upon hearing that he was gone, taken from her, for doing the work that he’d taught her was so important; keeping an eye on the evil men of the world, stopping them from carrying out their plans. Farhad Namazi had tried to stop them, and Zahra had tried to help him. But in the end they couldn’t be stopped, and her father couldn’t be helped and she couldn’t be consoled. Craig had known better than to tell her it was alright. It wasn’t alright. Instead he silently held her, kneeling on the floor, surrounded by the shards of a life that had been irreversibly changed.

They were all each other had in the world, until they met up with Michelle- how, Diego was still uncertain as Michelle had been tight lipped about life before this, and none of them had pressed her about it. She was the type of woman who spoke when she wanted and not when she was asked, and Diego could see that she just wasn’t ready to share her story. He and Kara had joined their group not long after they’d met Michelle, and once they’d taken in Jake as well,  they’d begun to feel as much like a family as Diego had ever really had.

He let his eyes wander to the spot below the window where Estela sat with her knees pulled tightly to herself, watching the way that Jake and Kara’s chests rose and fell in sync as the pair slipped off to sleep. Diego knew she was reeling from the gaping wound that losing Quinn had left in her heart. He stood, wiping his hands on his pants, and crossed the room to sit near her. He didn’t speak, didn’t extend a hand to take hers. He didn’t offer her a sympathetic glance, didn’t even raise his eyes to hers at all. Just sat down next to her, hoping that that small gesture would tell her that he understood what it was like to feel alone, to have had someone ripped so suddenly away, to feel unsure of how to carry on or if it was worth it or if it were even possible. She blinked at him for a couple beats before whispering, “Thank you.” The sun was setting in the narrow window above Estela and Diego’s heads throwing dim light into the already dark laundry room. They’d been holed up in there for the last eight hours or so when Michelle and Sean burst back in through the door, Sean ducking in behind her and closing the door quickly. Kara and Jake stirred awake as they came inside, Kara gently moving Jake off of her so she could see what was going on.

“We have to move,” Michelle stated urgently but calmly.

Craig, Estela, Zahra and Diego rose to their feet. “What’s going on, Meech?” Craig asked, his arm still protectively around Zahra.

“Traffickers,” she answered, a slight waver to her voice that Diego and Zahra seemed to notice, but probably went unchecked by the others. “Looks like the one that attacked Jake and Kara wasn’t alone. And��” she locked eyes with Sean, his full of concern. “And they’re using them… they…” she trailed off and looked to Sean again while Estela crouched back down and began packing all of the things they’d taken out of their various bags.

He cleared his throat. “They have a horde. Its…they’re herding them toward us…they’re hoping they’ll do their dirty work.”

Diego had wondered when something like this might happen. It hadn’t taken long for the Traffickers to start taking advantage of the lawless new hellscape. He wondered when people would realize that they could use the undead to their advantage, too. “How far away?” he asked.

“About 200 yards across the highway,” Sean answered. “We saw them just now…the Traffickers have a car or a truck…some kind of vehicle and they’re pushing them this way. They know we’re here.”

Kara had locked eyes with Jake the moment Michelle had said the word traffickers, finding their depths tainted with concern. She tore her eyes from him, heart racing with worry. “Michelle,” she gasped, “What about Jake? Can we move him like this?”

Michelle glanced over at her patient, triaging him perfunctorily before meeting Kara’s gaze again. “We have to, Kara.” It wasn’t really an answer to the question that Kara had asked and Michelle knew that, but she also knew that if they didn’t try to move him, he would be too easy a target where he was. Kara closed her eyes and felt her chest tighten as Diego moved to put his hand on her back.

“Hey, princess,” Jake called softly. “No tears for me, I’ll be alright. I told ya, you love me. I’m not goin’ anywhere.”

She swallowed the tears that were threatening to burst through. When would they catch a break? When would they be able to rest for more than a few hours? When would they feel safe? Probably never again, Kara. She tried to steady her breathing which was starting to become ragged with the anxiety she felt about moving Jake as the Traffickers and the horde came closer. His words seemed only to make her fear worse, but she scrambled back to his side as the others readied themselves to leave the laundry room. Craig helped her lift Jake to his feet, leaning most of his weight on Kara. She wrapped her arm around him firmly, feeling her strength grow with the adrenaline. She could feel him trying to take some of his weight off of her, only to have his knees buckle and his weight fall back on her. “I’ve got you, Jake, it’s okay…lean on me, I got you, baby.” She always spoke quickly when she was nervous, and right now her words were spilling from her mouth.

“Just don’t wanna bring you down with me is all,” he answered, wincing. She noted that his brow was sweating again from the strain of standing, and wondered if he needed more medication.

She brushed some hair from his face and pressed a trembling kiss to his temple. “You could never bring me down, Jake. You’re the only thing keeping me standing most days.” She leaned her forehead against the side of his face, taking every moment that she could.

“What’s the plan?” Zahra asked. “It’s dark, we can’t go far.”

“Sean, we need to bring everyone back to our apartment,” Estela suggested. “It’s safe, they can’t reach us there, and we’ll have the high ground.”

Sean nodded. “We can pick them off from the balcony…with a few of us on the ground as their numbers dwindle…we,” he shot a glance to Michelle, to Craig and Zahra and Diego, to Kara and Jake. “We have a chance.”

“More than a chance. Let’s go,” Estela said, shouldering her bag and leading the way out the door. The other’s started filing after her.

Craig paused to pull Zahra into a tender kiss, caressing the side of her face, her whole cheek fitting in his palm. “Ready, Z?” he asked.

She grinned, rising on her toes to kiss him again. “Ready, player 2.” They both drew their weapons and followed the group.

Kara started pulling Jake towards the door. “Kara…” he said, “If anything happens, you don’t have your gun anymore. You’re outta bullets,” he let out a cough and her heart sunk at the realization that it was already getting harder for him to breathe and they’d barely taken three steps. Sean and Estela’s place was on the other side of the complex.

“I know,” she said, huffing as she pulled him along, trying not to fall too far behind the others.

“If anything happens, you gotta go, you gotta leave me and get to safety, you hear me?”

“Yeah, Top Gun, I hear you and it’s not happening so don’t waste your breath on something so stupid. I’ll never leave you, get that through your thick head.”

He exhaled, half a sigh, half a laugh. “Thick head, huh?” he tried to ask but ended up coughing again, and the cough drew out into a groan as the hand that was not around Kara’s shoulders flew to his abdomen. Kara huffed and picked up the pace, right behind Diego. She glanced down at Jake’s hand on his stomach and it came away bloody. He must have torn his stitches in the movement.

“Hang on, Jake,” she said, fighting the panic that was flooding her brain. Ahead she could see Estela climbing the rope to the balcony, Craig lifting Zahra up to climb next, with Diego at her heels. Jake groaned again and she could tell that he was trying not to, trying not to frighten her, which only scared her more.

“Give him to me,” Craig called, scooping Jake up against one shoulder. Jake let out a sharp breath as Craig adjusted his weight and began climbing the rope.

Kara’s eyes started to water as she kept them on his face. His eyes were closed tightly against the pain. Suddenly she was hit in the face with a wet drop. At first she blinked at the sky thinking it was rain. But another drop splattered on her cheek and she realized it was Jake’s blood, dripping from where his stitches were ripping. She wiped at her face and her fingers came away red, streaking the drop across her cheek. She whimpered at the sight of it.

“Come on, Kara, we have to move,” Sean urged her, nudging her to start climbing. She did and he was right behind her, the two of them reaching the top just minutes before the first round of the undead horde came rattling towards them, the blaring lights of the Traffickers’ truck casting eerie shadows from the trees and the mailboxes and the decaying limbs of the horde. Sean pulled the rope up the balcony and the two of them joined the others inside where Craig was laying Jake on the couch and Michelle was lifting his shirt to inspect the stitches. Kara felt her fingers trembling as she got as close as she could to Jake while Michelle worked, her eyes never leaving his. Sean and Estela were rummaging around the bedroom down the hall coming back with a quiver of arrows, a hunting bow, and a long spear before heading back out to the balcony. Craig and Zahra stood near the front door of the apartment- Estela had demolished the stairs in the foyer, but they wanted to have both entrances covered in case the Traffickers had a ladder or some other way of getting to them.

“How’s it…lookin’, Doc?” Jake asked Michelle, sucking in a breath.

“Not too bad, Jake, just have to re-do these stitches…” she was back in logical mode, separating herself from the situation and looking at it as just another problem to solve. She reached for her bag and started the process all over again.

Diego noticed the blood on Kara’s face and hurried to her side. “It’s fine, Diego, not my blood,” she choked out, and he relaxed, grabbing her hand and squeezing it, and the light pressure, along with Michelle’s assurance that it wasn’t that bad, let her breathe easier. When Michelle had finished her work and given Jake more medicine, she moved to slump into the cushions of the love seat, exhausted from the adrenaline dump of saving her friend’s life for the second time that day. The quiet hum of Sean’s arrows through the air followed by the soft thuds of the bodies of the undead hitting the frozen ground could be heard from the balcony. The truck seemed to be holding back, waiting to see what would happen once they ran out of arrows.

Kara fell to her knees beside Jake and reached for his hand. He gave it to her and brought his other hand up slowly to her face. He wiped the blood, his blood, from her cheek with his thumb. “Sorry I scared you, princess,” he whispered, shakily bringing her hand up to his lips, brushing a kiss to her knuckles.

“You should be sorry,” she said through her tears, not meaning it at all.

“Thank you,” he said, catching her off guard.

“For what?” she asked, laying her head against his arm.

“For savin’ me, Kara. You been savin’ me since we met.” The way his eyes softened with tenderness even in his pain took hold of her heart. “I’d be a goner without you, princess, and not just talkin’ about this,” he took their twined hands and gestured towards his wound. “You saved me from givin’ up, losin’ hope. Long as I have you, I have hope.”

Hope. It seemed an odd thing to hold on to or to look for. But it had found them when they had found each other. “Back at ya, Jake,” she whispered. “You’re all the hope I need.”

Diego looked around the room. Craig and Zahra were still huddled by the front door, weapons ready, eyes on one another, free hands linked. Estela and Sean were outside dispatching the horde below, and Michelle had her eyes closed and her hands on the sides of her face, rocking slightly as she tried to come down from the high of it all. It didn’t look like much, but this was his family. They might be bruised and bleeding, tired and afraid, but they had each other. It looked bleak but with them he had hope.

[bidrums]

Something about episode 4 that bothered me that I really need to get off my chest

So @strangesurvivals​  has really good posts about this that honestly made me realize that was exactly what bothered me and they are very put-together posts, so if you want something that’s not as rambling as mine, go check it out. Check it out regardless of what I put on here, because it’s a great blog and they deserve love and attention.

Here’s what rubbed me the wrong way: the stupid Warlock school subplot and the concept of the Alpha.

In a post I made with my general thoughts on the episode, I mentioned that I thought it was interesting about the concept of Supreme vs Alpha but followed it with saying I wasn’t about to start discourse.

Well, I retract that statement and am going to start discourse.

I’ll probably be crucified for saying that Coven wasn’t my favorite season, but it wasn’t. I love the concept and absolutely adore the characters and agree that the season kicked some serious ass, but I couldn’t really jam with the plot. I don’t know why, since I’ve watched and read very similar things, but I just couldn’t really get into it. Sorry. Even though it wasn’t my favorite season, I definitely screamed when they appeared and loved all the scenes they were in. Because they're characters that I love and actresses that I love, and I knew that would up the stakes more than they were already upped.

And then the plot happened.

I make fun of the fact that it started out like Harry Potter with Michael being recruited, but then Ryan took the Chosen One concept a bit too far and decided to call it the Alpha. And I just, no. Just no. No, don’t do that. Don’t do that to Michael. He’s already the Antichrist. That’s more than enough of a role to fill, and he doesn't need some Harry Potter/Star Wars magic Chosen One that’s destined to defeat the Ultimate Evil (TM) on top of being the Antichrist. It’s unnecessary and it took away from that subplot for me. It felt lazy, it felt forced, it felt contradictory, it just lessened the impact of the Antichrist plot and Michael’s harnessing of his powers. At least, the way Ryan did it. I’ll get back to that.

So Michael Potter Skywalker is taken to a magic school to develop his Amazing Magic Powers because something happens that tells The Powers That Be that he’s Super Powerful- more than any of them. Only one of those Authorities is suspicious and hesitant to take this person is because he can smell Big Trouble because This Kid Ain’t Right. But everyone laughs off Cheyanne Yoda Jackson because holy fuck he pulled some Exorcist shit then curled up in a ball crying on the floor he must be The One With The Ultimate Power (TM) we must take this emotionally unstable child in and harness his magic because absolutely nothing will go wrong with taking him in and teaching him to control his crazy strong magic that manifests himself in murder. Cheyanne Yoda Jackson is just being paranoid, he only impaled a guy with multiple knives and blew a guys head up. He may have Much Anger In Him and acts in a way that looks like he’s Demon Possessed, but have you seen his Midichlorian count? We have to bring him in because he might be able to destroy the Sith and bring Balance to the Force and finally dismantle the ever-present fear of Voldemort’s Reign of Terror! Stop being a spoilsport and train him like the rest of us, it’ll be fine! Oh, and we won’t help him adjust to his power gradually in order to make up for the years of training he lost in order to give him the same foundation everyone else has and the skills and trust of the System to not be reigned by his unstable emotions and Much Anger In Him. Nah, throw him in the deep end headfirst, he’ll be fine. In fact, we’ll raise our expectations and push him harder than everyone else and tell him his Destiny from the beginning so he has all this pressure on him. There’s no way he’ll lash out and have a sense of entitlement.

Now, who are The-Sith-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named that oppress the poor, defenseless Warlocks? The rest of humanity? That was in Coven, and it would be interesting to have a Magneto-type background that ties into his disgust at humanity and proves his “evil motherfuckers” point. Is it the Humans? It’s not? Who is it?

The Witches, of course! Those Nasty, Horrible Women who use their Superior Woman Magic to press the poor defenseless Warlocks who just want to Be Equals and not be molotov cocktailed after those Stupid Women didn’t have the foresight to the potential consequences of trying to foster good relations with the Muggle World and being open about their Mutant status because they’re Mutants, and they’re Proud! We need an Alpha Male to save us from the Uterus! A Level Four! The Manliest Man in all of Manhood who will put those women in their place and take them down from their High and Mighty Egos. In Coven they had thinly-veiled metaphors for racism by having European vs Voodoo magic fights that tried to make us see that the Poor White Girls are just Misunderstood and Blissfully Ignorant that the Voodoo Community is just as Powerful and Valid as the rest of them! And they still have that in Apocalypse, but now they also have Gender Inequality in it, too! But like, not showing the tired, traditional Oppressed Women narrative that a lot of feminists tell. No, it’s the Refreshing alternate view that maybe, there are areas of life where Men are not on top? And that’s bad for them? It’s daring and bold and no one has ever proposed this idea ever! I’m so creative and revolutionary!!!

The Supreme title was interesting to me because there’s always the Head Witch or something like that. But Ryan gave her the title of Supreme, because the one to master all fundamental areas of magic has Supreme Magic that is more powerful. Which makes sense and is pretty refreshing to me, because it felt like an acknowledgement while over-glorifying the title. Because Supreme also sounds like a threat and a title everyone would fight over, so whoever has that title has to constantly watch her back because other people will try to take that for themselves. The title was forged in blood, and it’s a constant reminder of that. And the show does a great job showing how hard and how dangerous that title is. It shows work, it shows strength, it shows earning the title.

That is the complete opposite of the Alpha role. Level Four. Honestly I hate the fact that they rank the students with 4 levels because it’s honestly unhealthy competition in my opinion. But we’re focusing on the Alpha. It’s a stupid concept, it’s a stupid plot device, it’s a stupid mentality, it’s a stupid rank, it’s a stupid title. “But you’re a Christian, isn’t that hypocritical of you because you’re okay with calling God the Alpha?” Actually, that’s not His full title. The full title is the Alpha and the Omega- which is FUCKING GREEK FOR THE BEGINNING AND THE END AND IS A PRETTY ACCURATE TITLE FOR THE FUCKING CREATOR OF THE UNIVERSE AND DON’T BRING MY RELIGION INTO THIS I AM NOT GOING TO SAY THAT AGAIN

Anyways, the Alpha thing and why it’s hella problematic. Its real-life counterpart is a hideous mentality that really messed-up men have that leads to entitlement issues that lead to violence- usually against women whose bodies they feel they are owed and believe that their superior “Alpha Male” status demands. Just, it doesn’t matter if that’s what he was imagining- which I doubt given the context- or not, the fictional Alpha Male trope and the real-word damage the Alpha Male mentality causes make this fictional title undesirable and uncomfortable. It also doesn’t imply the hard work that the Supreme title does. Like I referenced in my sarcastic rant, it’s why people hated the Midichlorian thing in Star Wars. I actually asked my dad if they were mad because it wasn’t referenced in the original trilogy. He said, and I paraphrase, “Partly. It’s the implications of them not mentioning it in the original trilogy that we have a problem with. When it first came out, the Force was something that everyone had and that some people were more in tune with than others. But it was in everyone, so everyone with the right training could become a Jedi. You might not be as powerful as the other Jedi, but you can be a Jedi or at the very worst, someone with cool Force abilities that can use the Force. Just not at the level of the Jedi. That was awesome because me and everyone else was saying, “I could be a Jedi! I could learn how to master the Force! Then Episode 1 came out and it said, nah, you can’t. It’s twitch muscles. You have it, or you don’t. Your DNA determines wether or not you can actually use the Force. Everyone has the Force, but you can’t be trained to tap into that power. It was like a slap in the face to the people who spent decades with the fantasy of training to be a Jedi. Since you haven’t had the time gap between movies, it’s less of an issue. But to us, it hurts a lot.” And that’s exactly what the Alpha does. It’s not that Michael is powerful and gradually shows the potential to be the Alpha then proves himself to be able to survive the grueling process to earn that status. It’s just that they see that he’s powerful (which I have no idea how impressive that footage is since we don’t have a great example of how weak everyone else’s magic is in comparison, imo) and assume that because he’s super powerful he’s The One. It just wasn’t as compelling to me as finding out about the Supreme. And yes, the witches do inherently have more magic and yes, the Supreme inherently has more magic, but it’s still like the Jedi. Not everyone is Force-Sensitive, so not everyone can be a Jedi; by extension, not all the Jedi can have the highest rank and there are many nuances and strengths of the people’s Force abilities. That’s something that I thought was interesting in Coven and was a bit disappointed that they didn’t play around with it more, but that’s not what this is about. I’m just showing how the Warlocks could have a similar Nuance even with their ranking system and could’ve had more of a parallel with the Witches.

But they didn’t.

Instead Ryan decided to have some weird social commentary about how women could be as bad as men and whenever they have some area where they’re better than men, they abuse that area and twist the narrative to make themselves the victims; in these areas, the men are now the ones who have to fight tooth and claw to get equal treatment. This is the standard “Women can be just as bad as men given the opportunity!” narrative that hurts legitimate activism to get men the same treatment in areas such as domestic abuse, where the statistics of male victims and the numbers of how they receive justice for it are much different than for women. There was a social study where two actors pretended to be a couple having an argument in public that gets violent, with one partner starting to get more and more physical and the other partner getting more and more in danger of being seriously hurt. When the woman was the victim, people rushed to her aid and got in between them and called him out on his behavior. When the man was the victim, a significantly less number of people did that, and most people laughed it off as the male being “whipped”- or, not filling the male role in the relationship. The power balance is suddenly funny when the woman has more power over the women. Now, I’m not going to go into that discourse, and you have my word on that. Domestic abuse is a horrific epidemic that both men and women face, and statistically women are the victims much more than men. But that doesn’t mean that when men are abused, it’s not that bad as when women are. And so when activist groups push for more awareness of this epidemic and trying to change the narrative of what domestic abuse looks like, we should listen and treat it seriously. But when narratives like the Witch oppression of the Warlocks being used to bring attention to “reverse sexism”- which is bullshit, btw- it lessons actual legit activism and make both activism for male issues and activism for female issues seem less important. Less serious. They become more of a joke and people overreacting than things of actual importance. And it’s just bad writing. There are way better ways to have a Warlock vs Witch narrative that Michael is involved in. Way better ways. Way better ways than “oppressed men might have someone who can overthrow the oppressive women because he’s more powerful and men might be able to reclaim their position of power”.

Honestly, I was mostly annoyed by this is that not only was Ryan- consciously or no- even doing it, but he was doing it where the men were just being whiny and had no real argument. They gloated at Cordelia and tried to provoke her by dangling Michael as “The One (TM) who would overthrow the Witches’ power over them” in front of her to try to get her angry. They act like her refusing to put him through the Seven Wonders is proof that she’s scared of being overthrown. Because cowards act like that. And that when she uses Misty and Queenie as examples of how she isn’t all powerful like they believe and to give examples of how dangerous the world of magic is and how just recklessly going forward can land them in trouble, they just scoff like she’s not really worthy of being the All Powerful and can you believe this chick? She walks around like she owns the place but she can’t even save one of her own kind from being perpetually held in Limbo for eternity with possibly thousands of other souls being held captive and suffering unimaginable things. Some Supreme. She can’t possibly think that’s a good reason to not do the test of the Seven Wonders.

Just- it’s really bad. It’s not a good way to even make this lazy writing a passable attempt. Cordelia telling them about how she tried to save Queenie once she found out she was dead in order- this is what I interpreted from that sequence- to help her pass on or come back to life was a great way to show her character. She’s empathetic, she’s protective, she actually cares about the people she’s supposed to be the authority over. And her regret over not being able to save Queenie hurts because she was supposed to watch over her and be able to protect her from something like that, but she couldn’t. And she is heartbroken because people she loves and cares about are casualties of a dangerous world and she’s helpless to stop those casualties. And when she refuses to let Michael do the Seven Wonders, it’s because she doesn’t want an innocent party that is being put on a pedestal to get killed. She fucking says that she doesn’t want to risk him dying and the fuckwads act like that’s a pathetic excuse!!!!! That was so infuriating for me because it was treated like Cordelia was being unreasonable by the characters and Ryan. I mean, in Coven the Seven Wonders was constantly hammered in as dangerous at every level, and as the stakes are raised, the more it’s hammered in, and the more people get hurt. There are actual consequences, and Cordelia witnessed it from the beginning to the end. So she knows that there’s an 87% chance that Michael will die, and she doesn’t want someone else to die in the process that killed her friends. And she gets more and more angry about people talking over her and ignoring all of her very solid arguments against this until she has no choice other than to give into their provocations and get angry, having to firmly shutting it down and ending it before someone gets hurt and when she gets questioned again, she snaps one of the greatest lines in the season and the show: “BECAUSE I’M THE FUCKING SUPREME!” And the men just look at each other like, “I fucking knew this bitch was too scared of being usurped to agree to our very reasonable proposal to take a vulnerable youngster who’s only just started to control his powerful and unstable magic and force him to go through a dangerous test he has a high chance of dying from just to soothe our wounded egos that we’re grooming several impressionable young men to emulate, women are so unreasonable” and I wanted to punch everyone in the face. 

So the thing I mentioned waaaaay earlier in this super-long post: the way Ryan was doing this lessened Michael’s character was done really badly.  Here’s an idea on how to go through a less-sexist conflict between the two covens that actually makes him more powerful:

Michael is powerful- more powerful than they’ve seen. Cheyanne Yoda Jackson still gets to be suspicious, and they are inclined to agree. After some debate, everyone except Warlock Yoda agrees that it’s probably powerful, unstable magic that is being handled by a teen with anger issues and an obvious propensity for violence. They can teach him to handle the magic and maybe to control his emotions. Everything’s the same until they do their tests. It’s still after a month or two, but this time it’s after he’s had time to adjust and had some basic rudimentary training that everyone has when they first start. They explain that everyone is evaluated at the beginning to get a feel for their magic, and Michael already seems to have some control of his powers. Not much, but it’s impressive considering how insane they are. They start with the mirror. He does it, and they share shocked glances. That’s something that a lot of people have trouble with after years of training. So they hesitantly do the teleporting. Flawless passing, more shock. Then they ask him to waterbed snow, and they have their happy moment before they almost freeze to death. They see how freaked out Michael is and tell him that he has super strong magic and when you push yourself like he did, it’ll get a bit out of hand. Just be more careful and they’ll talk about where to put him then get back to him, okay? Then they talk about how freaky it is that he can do this with little training, Magic Yoda is suspicious, they shoot him down with a lot of irony because Antichrist. Then one of them suggests that maybe, just maybe, they might be seeing a Male Supreme. Use the phrase, “Male Supreme”. It’s less stupid and worrying. There’s banter about how there hasn’t been a male version, it’s only been a woman, you know how many powerful Warlocks have died trying to do the Seven Wonders, he can barely control snow, you think he can come back from the dead? But then they agree and call the Council.

Most of the Warlocks’ bitterness towards the Witches stems from two places: 1) Fiona was a bitch and took her Supreme status to exert absolute control of the Council and 2) Cordelia just announced the existence of Mutants Witches and Warlocks without consulting the Council, a decision that they feel should have been unanimous. So there’s some banter about the Seven Wonders and Michael and she doesn’t want to hurt him because of how many powerful Witches and Warlocks have died and he sounds like he’s emotionally and magically unstable and he most likely will die. It also makes more sense for them to be snarky at her because of the above two reasons, and they can invoke Fiona’s name which will make those of us who are familiar with Coven squeal at the mention of Fiona and remember that yeah, that sounds in character, as well as having Cordelia react to the implication that she’s being the same sort of Supreme her mother was. Like, that has waaaaayyyyy less sexism and provides a great conflict between the two schools. It also has a less cliche Chosen One story arc shoved into Michael’s already-established “I’m the Antichrist” story arc and still shows just how powerful and scary he is.

Again, that’s my idea on how it could’ve been better. I just hate that the potential badassery of rivals schools was ignored to have Ryan Murphy pretend to be revolutionary and critical and thinking outside of the box when he’s really condoning a dangerous and sexist narrative that puts characters that are both potentially awesome and badass and established to be awesome and badass into weak storylines that destroy a lot of great character arcs and characteristics of everyone.

Thank you for coming to my TED talk.

[justanothercinemaniac]

Epic Movie (Re)Watch #176 - Logan

Spoilers Below

Have I seen it before: Yes

Did I like it then: Yes.

Do I remember it: Yes.

Did I see it in theaters: Yes.

Was it a movie I saw since August 22nd, 2009: Yes. #477

Format: Blu-ray

0) This is Hugh Jackman’s final turn as the character he made iconic seventeen years ago. While there might still be a chance the character could come back (likely if it were for a Deadpool crossover or if he got to fight The Avengers) this is likely it. And embracing that allows this film to go to places no X-Men film before it could (as does its R-rating).

1) The opening scene with the carjackers establishes a lot for this film. First of all, we get a good look at just how fucking disheveled and miserable Logan is. It even shows in his imagery; the gray hairs, the tired face, all of it. It also establishes the film’s more grounded tone. This isn’t X-jets and time travel, this is war and violence. R rated and bloody violence, which is also established in the opening scene.

2) Marco Beltrami returns to compose this film after The Wolverine, and his score is quite strong. It is subtle, nuanced, moving, and embraces its Western still in a surprising and emotional way. I absolutely loved.

3) Logan IS a Western more than it is a superhero film. In a superhero film characters KNOW what they are. Superman is aware he gives people hope, Batman knows he is order in a world of chaos just as the audience does. Logan however? He’s not a symbol. He’s not a warrior. He doesn’t play into tropes. Life is a sad, abysmal, bloody mess where nothing makes sense and it’s all just HARD. A lot of the best Westerns are like this (notably Shane), so Logan is really setting itself apart from the superhero crowd by embracing this.

4) Boyd Holbrook as Donald Pierce.

Holbrook makes the villainous Pierce wonderfully skeezy. He’s got this wonderful energy and charisma which makes the audience just love to hate him. Holbrook is an absolute delight in the part and helps elevate the film be being totally despicable.

5) Stephen Merchant as Caliban.

I mentioned in my X-Men: Apocalypse recap that both that film and this one features an adaptation of the character Caliban from the comics. This was the result of just poor communication between the filmmaking teams meaning both characters ended up in both films. But they play notably different roles, with Caliban being more of a plot device in Apocalypse but an actual character with decisions and consequences in this film. I have a head canon that Apocalypse Caliban is Logan Caliban’s father. I don’t know if anything supports this but I like it.

Merchant is wonderful in the decidedly NON comedic part (considering the actor has considerable comedic talent which he has shown off in the past). He is quiet, understated, you see that there is a pain there always lurking underneath (or not so underneath) the surface. Wonderful at drumming up empathy and occasionally giving exposition without forcing it down our throat, Merchant is the hidden gem of this film and absolutely glorious.

6) The decline of Xavier’s health in this film allows Patrick Stewart to play the character notably different than before.

For one thing, it is really interesting to hear Xavier dropping, “fucks,” left and right. But more than that the hope which has so defined the character for seventeen years is now largely gone. Not totally though, it’s still there. But it’s mixed in with pain and heartache, anger and confusion, bitter disappointment and self doubts. It is an absolutely heartbreaking and conflict filled role which allows Stewart to really shine in what is also HIS final turn as the beloved Professor X.

7) This line is very telling not only of Charles’ state in the film but also Logan’s conflict.

Xavier: “I always know who you are its just sometimes I don’t recognize you.”

8) When I first saw the film I thought this was just a nice wink to the first X-Men film.

Logan [after Charles says someone is waiting for him at the statue of liberty]: “Statue of liberty was a long time ago, Charles.”

Only with this viewing did I realize the motel where Logan meets Laura and Gabriella is the Liberty Motel with a statue of liberty logo.

9) This is part of the whole “the characters don’t know what they’re supposed to represent” trope in Westerns, but Xavier is kind of a dick in this film.

Xavier: “What a disappointment you are.”

Like, I get that you’ve had a hard life too Charles. But Logan is around 150 years old (I think). He’s been through the Civil War, World War I, World War II, the Vietnam War, lost his memories, got them back at some point, and of course went through the events of every single X-Men film that happened before (including losing everyone in Days of Future Past then getting them back then losing them again before this film).

10) I thought it was a smart decision to only HINT at what happened with the X-Men instead of actually showing it.

Xavier: “Logan, what did you do? What did you do!?”

I’ll talk more about this in a little bit though.

11) Gabriella going to Logan for help feels like a Western trope. Like in The Magnificent Seven, the former outlaw/gunslinger trying to lead a quiet life is pulled back into it by someone who NEEDS them. In this case Logan is the gunslinger.

12) Dafne Keen as Laura.

Holy shit. Holy fucking shit. This girl. This fucking girl. This fucking girl is so fucking incredible. It is wildly difficult for me to wrap my head around how fucking amazing Dafne Keen is as Laura. I mean, her first sign of unique character and strength is when she fucking knocks out Pierce by throwing a damn pipe at his head! A mostly silent part for the first half (two-thirds?) of the film, Keen is able to embrace the physicality of her role BEAUTIFULLY. The way she moves, the look in her fucking eyes. She’s SO intense and that’s amazing. Everything about her. The fact that an eleven year old girl could be so damn intimidating speaks massively to her performance in this film. Hugh Jackman has been playing this part for longer than she’s been ALIVE and she can hold her own with him in every one of his her fucking scenes! This girl is a tiny badass! You know you don’t want to mess with Laura because she will fuck you up! I mean holy shit, she walks up to a group of bad guys with a fucking decapitated head. SHE GETS A HARPOON SHOT THROUGH HER CHEST AND IT BARELY PHASES HER! That entire first fight scene with her, Logan, and Pierce’s crew at their makeshift home shows off her skills as an actress phenomenally! She is a raging force of nature you do NOT want to piss off! Dafne Keen is the breakout star in Hugh Jackman’s last time as Wolverine! That tells a lot!

13) Bad guys deluding themselves into thinking their good guys is very honest to reality, but honestly how can you hunt down and murder children like a fucking sack of shit and think you’re still the good guy?

Pierce [to Caliban]: “I’m gonna need you to do one more thing for the good guys.”

14) Fuck Transigen. This film really did a good job of making films who you are hoping get brutally massacred by Logan and Laura. THEY BIRTHED CHILDREN FOR THE SOLE PURPOSE OF STUDYING THEM AND SELLING THEM AS SOLDIERS!

Dr. Rice [Transigen head scientist]: “Do not think of them as children. Think of them as things with patents and copyrights.”

I cannot begin to express how absolutely fucking horrific and despicable that concept is. THIS IS A COMPANY WHO TRYS TO KILL CHILDREN BECAUSE, “They could not be controlled.” BECAUSE THYE DIDN’T SERVE A PURPOSE! BECAUSE THEY WERE ACTUALLY HUMAN CHILDREN TRANSIGEN TRIED TO FUCKING MURDER THEM!

I look forward to their deaths.

15) I dig this.

Xavier: “She’s your daughter Logan.”

In the comics X-23 is a female clone of Wolverine, pushing that forward into a father/daughter relationship I think is strong. You can feel their relationship in her performance. Even when Laura is giving Logan a death stare you can feel that they’re connected. I mean, he’s the only one who gets ANYWHERE by telling her what to do.

16) Shane is prominently featured in a scene during the first half of the film.

Xavier talking about an early memory of seeing Shane in the theaters (when he was a kid) was reportedly an improvised moment. According to IMDb, this is an actual memory Patrick Stewart has from his youth which he brought up for the film. Shane was a large influence on the film, and one of the most iconic moments from the film ties very significantly into the movie.

Shane: “A man has to be what he is, Joey. Can’t break the mold. I tried it and it didn’t work for me. Joey, there’s no living with…with a killing. There’s no going back from one. Right or wrong, it’s a brand. A brand sticks. There’s no going back. Now you run on home to your mother, and tell her…tell her everything’s all right. And there aren’t any more guns in the valley.”

17) Logan losing it at the X-Men comics he finds is very telling of how he views the past. The very first page he opens to is Wolverine saving Rogue, who is notably absent from this film and who Logan had the strongest relationship with in X-Men and X2. This is how he WISHES life was. A big adventure, where he got to save his friends and the world on a more regular basis. Instead he’s left with pain and heartache.

17.1) The X-Men comics had to be special made for this film, as Marvel wouldn’t allow the studio to use actual X-Men comics.

18) Xavier’s Oklahoma City seizure.

When I first saw this film in theaters, this was the moment I went, “Holy shit, this film is amazing.” The fact that they turn this scene where everyone is frozen into a pseudo-action scene is amazing. Logan taking the time to go around and kill the bad guys is not only intelligent and organic but amazing to the eye. According to IMDb:

Professor Xavier's Psionic blast was done by shooting shaky footage and then re-stabilizing the frame in post. Resulting a footage containing strange motion blur with smearing effect, that is both organic and very unusual. The team shot the sequences slightly wider than was needed so that shots could be blown up to hide the edges of the stabilizing effect.

All of this makes the scene CRAZY strong and memorable, with Laura even participating by killing the one guy Logan missed.

19) What exactly happened to the X-Men.

News Reporter [reporting on the Oklahoma City incident; referring to a similar instance back in Westchester a year ago]: “…and took the lives of several mutants, including seven of the X-Men.”

In the comics, because of a psychic attack on Wolverine, he killed what he thought were super villains attacking X-Mansion which turned out to be his fellow teammates. In pre production there was the idea to film this as a prologue to the movie, while in the later dinner scene there was a deleted moment where Xavier went into detail about what happened at X-Mansion. I prefer this because it allows us as the audience to have hope that our favorite X-Men survived. (I may have even gotten the quote wrong; the reporter could have said, “seven mutants, including several of the X-Men.”)

20) Logan and the family dinner.

This was a concept first introduced in X-Men Origins: Wolverine; Logan finding a bit of peace and normalcy before his life goes crazy again. It is a nice moment of warmth in a story of heartache. What makes it all the worse? Logan, Xavier, and Laura. They WANT this. They are eager to have it.

Xavier [to Logan, about the family]: “You should take a moment and feel it.”

This is the goal. Xavier wants the Sunseeker boat with Logan, Laura wants her friends and family, but only one of the three gets this. Excuse me, I’m sad now.

21)

Will Munson [after Logan takes care of some redneck thugs]: “You’ve had training.”

Logan: “Some.”

22) Well. This is heartbreaking.

Charles: “This was without a doubt the most perfect night I’ve had in a long time. But I don’t deserve it, do I?…I think I finally understand you. Logan?”

Except he’s pouring his heart out to NOT Logan, but a Wolverine clone who murders him!

23) Fucking Logan clones.

(GIF originally posted by @notias1)

The dual Hugh Jackman-s in this scene are amazing, especially the seamless transition between X-24 walking down the stairs and Logan looking after him. The fight is strong as well, but nothing compared with what’s to come.

24) I love that these are Caliban’s final words, in reference to what Pierce told him earlier. It’s surprisingly badass.

Caliban [before setting off some grenades]: “Beware the light.”

25) Can I be totally honest with you guys? Hugh Jackman deserves a fucking Oscar nomination for this film. Like, 100%. Maybe there’ll be enough better performances towards the end of the year, but it at least deserves to be TALKED about. Just look at the scene where he’s standing over Xavier’s grave. He barely says a fucking word but still there is so much incredible raw emotion in his performance. There is heartache, there is anger, and it is all just SO amazing. But of course it’s the Oscars. He won’t even be a part of the conversation because it’s a comic book movie that came out in March.

26) Having a mute character speak COULD take away from what makes them interesting, but because of Dafne Keen’s performance Laura she is even MORE compelling.

Logan: “I don’t know how you got me here [to the hospital] but thank you.”

Laura: “De nada.”

The passion, honesty, ferocity, and focus which made her physical performance so compelling in the first half of the film all carries through beautifully into her voice and it just works so seamlessly. I fucking love it.

27) I’m not crying, promise.

Laura: “You’re dying. You want to die. Charles told me.”

Logan: “What else did he tell you?”

Laura: “To not let you.”

This was the exchange that made me think Logan was going to survive the film. Boy, was I wrong.

28) Okay, um…

Logan [when Laura shows him his adamantium bullet]: “Actually, I uh…was thinking of shooting myself with it.”

In X-Men Origins: Wolverine Logan got shot point blank in the skull with an adamanitum bullet and survived, he just lost his memories. You could say he wouldn’t survive in this film because of his healing being weaker, BUT that’s how they kill the Wolverine clone X-24 by shooting him in the head with it. BUT IT DIDN’T WORK IN X-Men Origins!

29) Laura is vicious!

Logan [when Laura is being distant from him]: “I even gave back the money!”

Laura [coldly]: “Such a nice man.”

(GIF originally posted by @rocktheholygrail)

30) I’m not crying. I promise. Not yet.

Logan: “Bad shit happens to people I care about. Understand me?”

Laura: “Then I’ll be fine.”

(GIF source unknown [if this is your GIF please let me know].)

31) Wolverine fighting in the woods to save the kids from being murdered by Pierce and Rice is probably the worthiest cause Logan has ever fought for, and the way he is choreographed as fighting alongside Laura shows their relationship is as strong as ever. They work with/off of each other, making each other stronger and helping the other survive. Because they’re family.

32) The fact that Wolverine’s final battle is against himself (or, a clone of himself) is probably deeply poetic but I’m too fascinated by what’s going on screen to analyze it. Again, he and Laura are fighting side by side here. Hell, it’s Laura he’s fighting for! And it’s Logan Laura is fighting to save. She’s the one who shoots X-24 in the head to kill him in an attempt to save Logan. But…oh boy…I don’t know if I can write this…

33) Pierce’s death is horrible and gratuitous and SO fucking cathartic considering he spent the entire film DESPERATELY TRYING TO MURDER CHILDREN! (Warning, below video features graphic content from an R-rated film. Viewer discretion is advised.

34) Logan’s death.

For one thing (holy shit I’m tearing up as a write this, what the fuck?), the prophecy Yukio made in The Wolverine comes to pass.

(Screenshot taken from a GIF set originally posted by @highsmith)

Except it’s not literally his heart, like in The Wolverine. It’s Laura. Laura is his heart. And, um…wow this is fucking hard. Okay look: I didn’t cry when I saw this in theaters. Everyone else did, but I kinda saw it coming. But a lot has happened between now and then so it hits closer to home. Anyone who has lost a parent or a loved one will be moved as Logan’s daughter watches him while he dies.

Logan: “Don’t be what they made you. Laura…”

Logan: “Ah, so this is what it feels like.”

This is the only time Laura refers to Logan as her father and also the only time Logan doesn’t deny it. Showing that they’ve accepted their relationship, but then he dies. Holding his daughter’s hand in his own. Because she’s his heart. Okay now I’m tearing up.

You know what makes the scene even harder? The little fucking funeral all the kids have for their savior. For the Wolverine. For Logan. And the fact Laura uses the same quote from Shane harkens back not only to a brief moment of just being a kid with Xavier and her dad in the other room, but also just what kind of impact those words have in a new light.

Laura [quoting Shane]: “A man has to be what he is, Joey. Can’t break the mold. There’s no living with a killing. There’s no going back. Right or wrong, it’s a brand. A brand that sticks. Now you run on home to your mother, and tell her everything’s all right. And there are no more guns in the valley.”

And then, in what is probably the most fitting final image of this 17 year old character, Laura turns the cross into an X.

Logan is a masterpiece. Working in a different style and going against established superhero and X-Men tropes makes this a worthy finale to Hugh Jackman’s tenure as the character. He is as strong as ever, Patrick Stewart is as strong as ever, and newcomer Dafne Keen fucking hits it out of the park. It’s heartbreaking and brutal and amazing because of these things. It’s fantastic and I think everyone should see it. Just...wow.

[critmedia]

My second review will, without a doubt, make some people mad; not just because what I’m going to say about this piece will fiercely disagree with what many people had to say about it, but because Mass Effect 3 had such a large and passionate following, that it would be impossible not to offend someone.

So without further ado, here’s:

Why Mass Effect 3′s Ending Was Actually Good and Those Who Complained About It Are Being Babies (Spoilers)

(People are allowed their opinions, I don’t think they are actually babies, just that they expected too much and they had a huge overreaction to what essentially ends up being about 10-20 minutes of a 30 hour game. I want to acknowledge I’ve seen some arguments saying that the ending isn’t what people wanted. People wanted Shepard to win and to live happily ever after with his love interest with a happy family. The end. And I will admit, I wanted that for my Shepard too, but I can accept that it didn’t happen. Because what we want, isn’t always what we get. And even if you do everything right, things may not turn out the way we had wanted or expected. That’s were the emotion comes in. When Shepard fails to survive even when he made all the right calls. That’s just how it happens/happened. So if you say the ending is bad for this reason, I have no sympathy for you, and you are, in fact, a baby.)

I’m going to start by saying this is not a review of Mass Effect 3. I will review Mass Effect as a series later, but for now let’s focus on the point of contention that most people had with the game: The ending.

So being a huge Mass Effect nerd I’ve spend a lot of time in this universe (I counted it up the other day, I’ve played over 2000 hours of the Mass Effect series) which has allowed me to fully grasp and understand what goes on in these games. This also gives me a huge bias towards the game that I will fully acknowledge. However, I propose that from a writing and programing standpoint, this game (and the ending) is pretty good, not perfect, but good.

Alright legitimacy established, hypothesis stated, let’s get into the nitty-gritty. So we have 2 characters, the Illusive Man and Admiral Anderson plus a Shepard (your male/female projection of yourself that allows you to interact with the world, i.e. not actually a character). The Illusive Man is a master manipulator running a splinter military organization in order to further humanity’s status in the galaxy, at any cost necessary. He has been implanted and indoctrinated by the Reapers, but not directly controlled by them, just influenced. Opposing him, you and Anderson stand, in a trance induced by the Illusive Man via Reaper tech. Anderson is a leader of the Alliance forces, proud and humble all a the same time. He’s been friends with/mentor to Shepard for years, and has been a large part of stopping the Reapers thus far. These two characters are foils, exact opposites that highlight each others strengths and weaknesses. However this scene plays out, Anderson and the Illusive Man end up dead and Shep near death. BUT not before each character has had a chance to make an appeal to you. Illusive Man wants to control the Reapers and use their tech to make the galaxy a better place, great idea, but how is one supposed to control the Reapers? Anderson says to destroy the Reapers, anything less will be damnation of the sapient races of the galaxy, and he has a point, the Reapers are the antagonists after all. But how do we do that? They are just so powerful it has been impossible up to this point.

That’s where the MacGuffin comes in. That’s right, the Crucible, a giant space device passed down throughout millions of years of development has just been activated and Shep can die in peace knowing he kills the Reapers. But wait,  what through yonder window breaks, tis a message that it doesn’t work. Shep passes out and then we see him ascend via unknown force into the Crucible.

This is the point in which I see people getting mad.

Shepard wakes inside the Crucible approached by a semi translucent little boy, that has all the answers in the universe. He says, I offer 3 different color solutions to the problem, and because you are space Jesus you get to pick which one happens by sacrificing yourself, the end. Okay, I understand that sounds dumb, and that’s why people don’t like it. There is an out of left field, totally unexpected thing happening, that boils down to a color-coded trinary choice that ends the magnificent series about the consequences of choice, right?

Wrong. Let’s unpack everything we know, and make an effort to understand before we start to judge.

First the child. Everyone seems to criticize Bioware for making the “Star Child”, as the community refers to him, a significant part of the story. The “Star Child” is based off of a child in the intro of the game. Shepard looks out of his office on Earth (that’s important) down on the child (the first young child we’ve seen in the games to this point, i.e. important), who is playing with a toy in the garden. The Reapers then launch the invasion of Earth and Shepard soon after encounters the boy in a small vent that Shep can’t fit into (also important) and tries to help him. The boy replies, “You can’t help me” (IMPORTANT!). He then disappears. Later, Shepard is about to leave Earth to unite the rest of the galaxy and beat the Reapers. There is a touching scene where Anderson gives his spiel about staying at home and fighting the good fight for the citizens of Earth. I can’t do it justice in this review, but it’s been decided that Shep will leave despite not wanting to. As his ship begins to take off, he spots the boy get into an evac shuttle. And the ship is destroyed. The boy then haunts Shep in his dreams after every major mission in the game hence forth. In each dream sequence, we an extended look at the end of the dream, where the boy sits in flames, then in the last Shepard sees himself and the boy burning. These dream sequences got labeled by fans as out-of-place, unnecessary, and stupid. These are ignorant claims, because almost everyone making these claims do not understand why the child should be important enough to haunt Shepard. They say, “Shep is a grizzled war vet who has seen atrocity after atrocity, why would one child dying haunt his dreams? Shouldn’t it be the friends he’s lost?” Now already, these people can’t understand the ending, because they’ve missed a huge themeing device, because they can only take things literally. Going back to the beginning, we start on Earth. Home. Home is associated with safety, comfort, our childhoods. Then we see the first child in the series ever, hinting that this child will be important. More than that children are considered innocent and the future. Then seeing the child in danger again in the vent, we are supposed to see that Shepard cannot reach this innocence, his future. And finally the giant walking metaphor says, “Player, you cannot help me. You cannot keep your innocence. You may never reach your future. Saving everyone is not a possibility, even thought it is your goal to save as many people as possible. Don’t expect every battle to be a victory.”

And if it wasn’t blatant enough for you, the writers decide that the child should die, AND constantly remind you of the themes via dream sequences at appropriate intervals through the story. This also builds up to a climax, in the last dream sequence when Shep and the boy perish in flames together, both foreshadowing some of the possible endings, and implying that Shepard will not see the future.

“But then how/why did the “Star Child” appear to Shepard as the boy?”

One, it’s the most ancient and advanced piece of technology in the universe with mind altering power, and you just plugged the biggest battery ever created into it. I’m sure it could have appeared as anything it wanted to. Two, themeing is important. Three, suspension of disbelief. This is sci-fi, get used to it.

Okay, so first point of contention, gone. The “Star Child” is important and now you know why. Now the Blue/Green/Red ending. I feel this was what the majority of people were mad about.

First off, I’m throwing the argument "it didn’t incorporate any of the decisions that I made previously and that’s why it’s bad” in the trash. Why? It’s not a good argument. There is no way to make a branching code that would have incorporated decisions made over the course of 3 very long games into the ending AND made it a coherent and satisfying ending to the trilogy. That’s unrealistic. Second, the decisions made did/do matter, they are what led Shepard to be in that situation. The “Star Child” literally says that in his speech. Plus the decisions matter in the much larger scale of each person’s own personal game; who lived and died, what races survive the apocalypse, the relationships forged, people affected, and everything that is and was. If you think the ending negates those decisions, you’re wrong.

Getting into each ending specifically Control, Destroy, and Synthesis; each has their own merits and affect the galaxy after Shepard. (There is also a secret fourth ending, but it isn’t quite as satisfying.) This also matters. It is a metaphor of choosing the legacy you want to leave behind. Each has its own consequences: Control is the proposition of one of your enemies, the Illusive Man. What seemed impossible is now a possibility. Can you see past the bad things that he had done and see the logic in the solution he was seeking? Or do you go with what his foil and your friend, Anderson, would have done and destroy the Reapers? It has always been your goal, but the cost is the deaths of some of your friends and allies. Or do you ignore both extremes and come to a solution never available to you before, blurring the lines between synthetic and organic. This is the most mysterious of the options, and you may not fully grasp the concept as it is foreign, but it would seem like a paradise. And yes each one had their own color, but to boil down those decisions to just the  colors, is showing your own ignorance of said consequences. And with the addition of the FREE Extended Cut ending, it fills in all of the gaps that the previous iteration neglected to mention.

The decision is up to you/Shepard, but only you have to live with the consequences of your decision. And you get to see some of those consequences, as each ending has it’s own unique narration, showing outcomes of decisions made previous to the ending and what the galaxy does with the opportunity given to them.

That is a fucking great ending.

[redbladereviewing]

Breath of the Wild VS Twilight Princess: Open World or Guided Goals?

Open World Action Adventure games. They’re all over the market and there’s likely no chance of them going away. It’s pretty easy to think that these games take no effort, but designing a gigantic map with different landscapes, biomes, towns, and proper enemy spawn locations takes a lot of time, money and manpower to create. And The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild is one of those games that certainly took a lot of time to make. Originally planned for Nintendo’s best dust collecting device, the Wii U, the game was met with a multitude of delays from 2014 to 2017, and even being released onto their newest console, the Nintendo Switch, with Shigeru Miyamoto famously saying “A delayed game is eventually good, a bad game is forever bad”. While this quote would later be mocked with the heavily delayed release of Mighty No. 9 later in 2017, Miyamoto was right. Breath of the Wild, despite its delays, was met with universal critical acclaim, winning Game of the Year at the annual Game Awards 2017, and even having a direct sequel announced and in development at E3 2019. But as time went on, as it always does, opinions towards Breath of the Wild started to sour. With people presenting complaints for its barren open world, brittle weapon durability, and complete lack of character from our main protagonist, that people were starting to cast doubt upon whether it was even good in the first place. Now this is nothing new. Game franchises that have been around for decades are likely to have people question the quality of some installments. Just ask Sonic the Hedgehog fans today what they think of Colors compared to Black Knight then when those games came out. But Zelda fans are a bit different. The Zelda franchise has had a set formula for almost about a decade since Ocarina of Time was released in 1998. A simple dungeon full of puzzles to solve, some monsters to deal with, and a special weapon that helps with defeating the boss of said dungeon. It’s a formula that worked for a long time, and only was Breath of the Wild released itself from that cycle its forefathers created. However, while some cycles should be broken, the one that Zelda was in wasn’t really in need of a change. People will say that you often have to change up a series’ gameplay to keep it fresh, but I don’t think that’s true. Call of Duty has been keeping people invested in its games for decades, and it doesn’t change much outside of minor additions, for better and for worse. But the core of the gameplay stays the same. Twilight Princess, in my own humble opinion, was the game that took the most advantages it could with the set Zelda gameplay formula. With the best dungeons in the series, and a story that had a lot more depth than most other entries before and after it. Meanwhile, Breath of the Wild went so far away from the set formula you’d be mistaken for thinking it was a completely different game. So between a massive open world and a set structure of events, which of the two is a better direction for the Hero of Hyrule to go down?

Breath of the Wild has itself set on breaking its formula from the very start. You aren’t a village child or a farmhand; you’re a random dude in his undies waking up from a century long slumber in a water bed, and being given an alien looking smartphone. Complete with a map, camera, and telescope to help you explore this massive world. Even as you enter into the open world, you’re situated atop a plateau, complete with everything you’ll need to learn about how this world works. From weather climate, to resource gathering, to even cooking meals and sneaking past fights you can’t win. It’s quite the departure from what we’ve come to expect. That is, if you’ve only played major Zelda games after 1998. In interviews, the developers said they wanted to go back to the roots of how this series started. With a big world that you don’t really know how it works, but steadily guide you towards what you can do, what you need to do, and how to do things. It certainly has that feel, with the entire intro of the game setting up everything that you’ll be doing in the game. From dealing with enemy camps that hold helpful resources, to climbing towers on loan from one of Ubisoft’s old open world games, to going through Shiekah Shrines to learn the basic abilities your smartphone can use. Such as freezing objects in place, picking up metal boxes, and blowing stuff up with two types of bombs. It’s a lot of stuff to learn that’s steadily leading to you learning more about the state of this version of Hyrule. In this version, Ganon has technically won. The world is in ruins, the people are isolated, there’s monsters running around everywhere, and Zelda is keeping Ganon locked away inside the castle as best she can. It creates a serene, but almost horrifying apocalypse where giant spider bots are roaming the world and blasting people to ashes. It’s quite a daunting adventure ahead, and the gameplay reflects this. Weapons are incredibly brittle, almost as if they haven’t been maintained for a century. Even the most legendary of Royal Guard armaments break after constant use despite looking so expertly constructed. From a narrative perspective, it makes sense. The world is in ruins and you have to find what you can to get an edge against the monsters that roam the world. But from a gameplay perspective, it creates the unfortunate result of collecting a lot of powerful weapons that you will never use because you wanna save them for when you need them. Except you never really will need them because you can run past most enemies in the game and they’ll give up chasing you, especially when fighting enemies into the mid-game doesn’t give you rewards that feel worth it. Oh wow, a shiny rock. I’m glad I used up my Soldier’s Greatsword on those Bokoblins to get it. I’m sure that’ll be worth something to someone. Turns out, it might be, but only to upgrade your armor with pieces of junk you collect from the open world to make yourself tankier. Combat in open world games often has to exist to give the player something to easily do when they start up the game, or create some kind of challenge. But when you can literally go anywhere, even to the final boss right away and fight them with only the weapons you can carry and whatever you found in the castle, it makes the combat in Breath of the Wild not all that worth it. Even when many high skilled players discover new ways of breaking the games physics and mechanics to get themselves some massive combat advantages, it doesn’t really feel satisfying when the rewards aren’t worth it. While its certainly worthy of praise that Nintendo have made an extremely open world with all kinds of directions you can go, it’s not nearly as satisfying to beat a game when the challenge keeps going down and down, and there’s not enough story motivation to get character invested players to keep going. Combat has to have enough of a satisfying reward for players to seek it out. It can be anything from a sense of character progression, to just the satisfying feeling of combat itself. Breath of the Wild struggles with these two things so often simply because combat has no direct changes outside of dodge, flurry attack, repeat, that all those special methods of combat feel like too much effort. Dominant Strategy dictates that players will always use the most effective method of overcoming obstacles in a game, and Breath of the Wild’s Dominant Strategy is basically playing Dark Souls for little kiddies. Stat buff meals and potions don’t mean anything if the combat doesn’t have a satisfying feel to it that makes it worth seeking out, or rewards that encourage facing greater threats.

By contrast, Twilight Princess is so much of a Zelda game it’s dripping with Ocarina of Time’s Happy Ending massage aftermath. The game starts out with Link living in a small rural forest village with his horse, working as a farmhand who herds goats, and even enjoys spending time with the village children, indulging in their praise of his super cool sword and slingshot skills. Twilight Princess does a good job of setting up a status quo. Almost too good of a job. A common criticism of the game is the entire intro before the first dungeon. It goes to great lengths to establish what your home was like before the twilight began to spread, and it even has a few dumb story moments. Like your village crush Ilia taking your horse away because of a minor injury it took from jumping over a fence. Despite Epona not even being her horse. Then there’s Link giving his training sword to a child just to get your horse back. Would’ve been helpful to fight back against those invading Bulbins if I had that glorified stick. Thanks, Talo, you little twerp. All that ends up happening to you and your friends is entirely your fault. The giant wall of Twilight that cuts off the forest? Well, I can’t blame a child for encroaching darkness. That would be too far. However, that same darkness is also where another criticism of this game comes up. “Oh no! Link’s been turned into a furry! Guess this game is responsible for my diaperfur fetish.” Obvious joke against a community that the internet has yet to accept as just another part of itself aside, Wolf Link’s gameplay is not really all that well utilized. It’s fairly simply exploration in an animal form that will be responsible for a number of young folk’s sexual discovery. It has you exploring the segments you’ll later explore as your normal form so that you can get some idea of the state of that region. After getting the Master Sword, the wolf form becomes something that you can use for easy fast travel through the portals you’ve unlocked, and going through areas that would be too difficult for your normal form to travel through. There is, however, one big thing that Wolf Link helps you unlock. Before you enter the first dungeon, you have a run-in with a golden wolf that lunges at you and sends into a foggy void where a Stalfos named Shade teaches you a number of combat abilities. While they appear to be situational to some extent, they do a lot to spice up the combat and give you more available options when fighting monsters. And the only way to get these special combat moves is to find special Triforce Wind Stones around the map where you howl along to old classic songs from the previous Zelda games. With these moves, you’ll have much more combat options when fighting enemies like the Darknut, who acts as the mini-boss of the Temple of Time dungeon, but becomes a common enemy in the final dungeon where they appear in almost every room one after another. It’s a great escalation of challenge while giving the player the skills that they have to find for themselves without making the fights easier, as the Darknuts are tanky fights that you can’t so easily cheese like the toughest of enemies in Breath of the Wild.

Which reminds me. I haven’t actually talked about the dungeons in Breath of the Wild. Though honestly, the dungeons themselves don’t have a lot to talk about. It’s basically running around a giant mech and activating four panels before fighting the boss of it which can be easily cheesed with enough bomb arrows and rushdown attacks. As well as making use of the dungeon’s special environment controls to change one thing about the environment. While it’s likely they made the dungeons all follow the same rhythm to give players the option to explore each dungeon in a different order of their choice, it doesn’t really help these dungeons not feel like a bit of an afterthought compared to the real meat and potatoes of BotW. The Shrines. These suckers are all over Hyrule and each reward you with a Spirit Orb. Said Orb can be used to get either Heart Containers or Stamina Boosts when you give four of them to any Goddess Shrine in the world. These Shrines can have you solving a physics puzzle, going through an obstacle course, solving a memory puzzle, or just straight up fighting an enemy of specific difficulty. While these can be fun little challenges, the major reward you get from them can become extremely predictable and somewhat tiresome. Early game, I was finding shrines to help level up my health so I can better face the enemy, but about halfway through the game I grew tired of doing the shrines because they just weren’t worth it when I already had a lot of health and stamina. Yet if you want to get the classic iconic tunic that Link has always worn without having to search through amiibo scalpers for Legend of Zelda amiibos that give you Links tunic, you have to go through all 120 Shrines to get it. So while you will be jacked as all get out when you get all the shrines and you’ll have a classic tunic for when you fight Calamity Ganon, the final boss fight itself ends up being way easier than most other challenges you’ve faced up to that point, so the effort of leveling yourself up and getting all these big upgrades doesn’t feel like it’s being used against a foe that really deserves the kind of punishment you can dish out.

Despite all my negativities surrounding Breath of the Wild, I do think it’s a good game and an admirable product. The scale of the world is impressive, with so many moments when I just stopped moving and took in all the beautiful scenery. It’s a good game and a good Zelda game. I just feel that the difficulty balance, the lack of protagonist characterization, and very basic dungeon design keep it from being my favorite of the series. As for Twilight Princess, it will always be my personal favorite of the franchise. From its characters, to its dungeons, to its sword combat, to just the whole experience as a whole, it’s what I immediately think of when I think of Legend of Zelda. And if you feel the same way about Breath of the Wild, I think that’s great. I just wanted to share what personal issues I had with BotW now that it’s been three years since it came out.

[god-hunter]

Astonishing X-Men #7-12

I know I already talked about Issue 7, barely... But as it’s part of this 2nd (and technically final) arc of Soule’s story, I had to include it in the photo set.

So this was the “A Man Called X” arc, which was very cleverly titled.  But it was ridiculously convoluted, which kept me from reviewing it for months!  Admittedly, it was way better on a 2nd read, so here goes:

Issue 7:  X reintroduces himself to the X-Men in this issue.  They had just defeated the Shadow King and rescued Charles Xavier, but it was at the expense of taking over Fantomex’s body.  And Charles acted younger and hipper, now suddenly.  He wants to be called X now.  There’s something they don’t trust about him, and I don’t blame them.

I brought this up before, but in this issue X fixes Archangel.  The first thing X does is stop Archangel dead in his tracks, who was in the midst of an air-battle with the Air Force, or whatever.    Basically, he force-calms him down, so that Warren can still cognitively think and feel like himself, rather than being cold and death-driven.  The Ministry of Defense is concerned about this sudden attack and subsequent ceasefire, and also that more chaos seems to be ensuing elsewhere in London.

This involves Bishop & Gambit, who are still under some sort of spell.  Only it isn’t the ShadowKing this time. It’s something else, which X has yet to discover.  Before Psylocke and the others let him help them though, she needs to see for herself what happened to Fantomex.  So she dives in his head via telepathy, and finds that Fantomex volunteered to stay behind in the Astral Plane. He sacrificed his physical body in order to bring Xavier to the fore.  [Which means that this can be reversed...]

Anyway, Bishop looks into this Green Sun that is looming over the people in his area and is controlling them.  It’s a Future death incident called the Mindkiller Apocalypse, apparently, which is a huge cause for concern.

X tries to stop this green thing, whatever it is.  But instead, all he did was set the green thing free.  This being is called Proteus.

Issue 8 - So, we went from stopping ShadowKing, to somehow setting Proteus free in the aftermath.  How those 2 connect, I don’t know, but I was still curious...

“The ShadowKing must have been using shards of Proteus’ soul to create a psychic feedback loop. It nearly ripped a hole between the Astral Plane and this World...” as X puts it.  The London X-Men quickly get fed up with this, but Psylocke reels them in.  “Can we just set everything else aside until we stop him?”  [That’s fair.]

Bishop spots Proteus absolutely eating people’s souls for energy.  He tries blasting him with his guns, but that only makes him more powerful too.

Old Man Logan claims that he knows how to kill Proteus.  They have to use Metal, which he and Archangel have in spades.

Then... this issue takes a left turn.  This is where I come out of it.

X and Psylocke get in Proteus’ head.  Apparently they’re in Scotland, where the human form of him is really Kevin MacTaggert? Moira’s brother???

He brings up their past history, which I’d rather not get into.  He does a lot of self-victimizing for his past crimes, and says that after years in the Astral Plane he’d like a 2nd chance. Something X should understand big time.

At the end of this issue, X attempts to kill Kevin with psychic guns(?) and Proteus retaliates.  He X & Psylocke together, leaving the rest of the X-Men confused and worries as fuck on the outside.  They’re literally melting into each other, which is quite horrific.

Issue 9 - I didn’t know what the Hell was going on, but Soule still had my curiosity.  

We come to find that this was some sort of mind-meld or something.  Archangel & Logan immediately use their metal to strike/guard them.  Warren protects Psylocke which is touching, because they were once an item.  And Logan decides to stab X in the shoulder, because Fantomex had healing powers.  Same body, same powers, he figures.  But no, that’s not the case.

He couldn’t heal and writhed in pain until Psylocke put him to sleep.

They imediately brought him to the Blackbird to recover, while Proteus shifted over to Scotland to... reclaim his Kingdom, as it were.

He literally invades a bar, where some random civilians are chilling, and.. ‘gives them what they want.’  One civilian was flirting with someone’s fiance big time, and by Proteus doing this, now he caused the person to just savagely kill his best friend. I already skipped a lot of stuff though.

First, Proteus makes this community. He literally builds a spherical wall, and convinces these people that he is their leader, and everyone gets what they want.  Having mind powers, presumably, this is not hard.

So bam. The chaos ensues in this community, and some people are transformed into soldiers

“NO!” X snaps awake, while the Blackbird Jet flies over to Scotland.  {And then I gave away the ending already.  Jealous boy wanted his friend gone, so boom. He blew up.}  This can only mean worse in the bigger picture.  Some sort of all out war, in this community, which may spread to the rest of the World.

Issue 10 - On their way to Scotland, they tell X that they voted that Psylocke is in charge of this gang.  “Nothing personal. We just don’t trust you. At all.”  Thanks Mystique.  He utters something about wanting to drop an atomic bomb on the place, which is super OOC for Xavier.  They remind him that that’s exactly why he is not leading and then say that they’re the X-Men. They Save people.

“You’re assuming there’s anyone left to save,” X says with a dark spin on life.

This is where it gets whacky.  We see all sorts of dragons and soldiers attack the Blackbird jet, while other civilians are having orgies, or exhibiting other such chaotic behavior.

Yet again, the Blackbird crashes, but our X-Men are fine, because telepathic device.  

Then the real fight goes down.  It’s quick and rushed, to get to the point, which I like.  Crazy layout of panels across 2 pages, or our guys fighting random people and creatures.  [I doubt this is what they wanted, and more of what Proteus wanted.]

Suddenly the people stop fighting, and the ground seems to sprout up to capture some of our team.  The Shadow King’s face can even be seen within the ground as Proteus talks to them.

“The Shadow King wanted a Hellscape... so that’s what the Astral Plane was.  But I think there’s another way.  That’s why I did my little experiment here...  If you create a World using only one mind’s ideas, you get something twisted, stunted.  But if you use many minds...you get a Garden.”

Logan is pissed because he believes he killed them 100%.  Proteus explains that he gave them what they wanted.  They’re just different now.  Then he shifts the conversation over to Xavier’s dream.  “Do you still believe in that dream?”

“I do,” X proclaims.  He also says that none of them would have chosen this, if they knew it would turn out this way.

Proteus then says it’s time to let his garden grow.  On the last page, the spherical walls are broken down, and I guess this reality is lopping itself onto the rest of Scotland.

Issue 11 - The Garden quickly spreads into Edinburgh, Copenhagen, Philadelphia, Dublin, Cairo... Tokyo!!

[Whenever things get Worldly like this, I can’t help but wonder, where are the Gold & Blue teams in on this, then??]  Or anyone else for that manner??

Proteus is at the point where he feels he’s won.  But Logan and Archangel go after him with their metal.  While Psylocke and X try to attack him from inside his head.

There’s a lot of slashing and beam throwing.  It’s cool to watch, but where’s the substance or the stakes, here??

X & Psylocke use their brain waves to calm down the people in Japan.  Or ‘stop the seed’ as they call it...  [Seed of Proteus’ ever-growing Garden, I presume.]

Inside Proteus’ head, Moira appears to comfort him, but he’s not buying into the illusion.  At least, not at first.

They pull a fast one on Proteus and X gets cocky.  He says that with this kind of power, they could do anything, with a sinister grin.  

The fight on the outside gets somewhat exciting with Gambit & Rogue involved.  Bishop jumps in to try to convert his energy as well.  I like the semblance of teamwork, happening here.  Proteus shrieks, “Why? Why?  Why won’t you ever let me live?”

Then at the end of this issue, X, drunk with power cracks open his skin to reveal that he is really the Shadow King, after all.  [THAT explains those black and white dialogue boxes!]

Issue 12 - This was Soule’s big bad conclusion, and I couldn’t care less by this point.  It was morbid curiosity by this point and a quest for all things to end, which was why I got it at all.  The artistry was way better on this, from Gerardo Sandoval, though.

So despite killing the Shadow King on the Astral Plane, Mystique confirms to Rogue that none of that is real.  He he is, living, breathing before them in the Real World and it’s a double splash page of the whole bunch ganging up on him.

Then we see something crazy.  Shadow King got to Old Man Logan and made him kill himself.  I recall reading that and being super-shocked, thinking that it could actually be permanent.  Everyone else dealt with their own shit as well, and as X narrates “Only Psylocke still stands.”

Psylocke fights him in panels, while we see Bishop feeling guilty that he let the Mindkiller Apocalypse happen.  Gambit apparently tries to kill himself with his cards.

Rogue and Mystique apparently have a fatal embrace with her glove off.  Archangel feels shame, and I think flies himself into space, where he can’t breathe, then lets himself fall to the ground.

But then, we eventually see Xavier put himself back together.  He’s wearing a new outfit now, but still looks young and buff.  He uses his mind powers to help Psylocke defeat the Shadow King.

We get to see more X-Men than just the Astonishing Team, which is neat.  (It’s a bunch of heads in the background, making me believe that it’s a psychic thing.) Betsy asks, “What is this?” and he says, “All of us. Together.”

As if he mentally siphoned the power of every living Mutant, to mentally help them against the Shadow King, I guess.

And it’s their bravery, which seems to shrink the Shadow King into a little bug, which X flicks away.

Betsy asks if he’s Xavier now.  He affirms that he’s still X, but whatever shadow was in him is gone now.

By the end of this, none of them still trust him, and he just tells them, “I said I had gifts for all of you... and so I do.”

[This was kind of interesting.]

He gives Warren choice, so I guess he can go back to Angel, Archangel or just Warren. Whatever he wants whenever he needs...  He gives Remy purpose and tells him to find Fantomex and pay him back whatever he owes him.  He gives Mystique & Rogue understanding.  This one, I don’t care to understand.

He gives Bishop permission to enjoy the world, and not always worry about the future.  He gives Logan vision, to see that he is walking towards the light from his dark past.

And then, the most fucked up, but also brilliant thing is him giving them all Oblivion.  “Forget.”

He tells them.  Then he mind-wipes all of them!  Except for Betsy. She gets to remember.

“For now, you’ll be the only one who knows I’ve returned. You’ll watch me. Keep me honest.”

After they exchange threats, she asks him what their Psychic be-all-end-all was.  She suggests that maybe he could find the stronger empaths, and bring them to the school.

He tells her, nah, though.  “Why would I go back to the School? I’m sure Kitty Pryde has things well in hand.  The school was Professor Charles Xavier’s place.  His dream... There is nothing for me there.” He smirks as the sun sets in the background.

“I am not Xavier. I am X...  I have a new dream.”

-The End-

Jeeeez.  Cool that he’s back, but man oh man.  Where was Soule going with this.  He just planted this giant seed, in hopes that someone else could pick this up and run with it???

I’m not sure if Astonishing got cancelled, or if it was always meant to be a 12-part mini-series.  But either way, Soule’s story was done by this point.

And I was NOT interested in getting Issue 13, with a new writer coming on board.  But I accidentally got it in my pile anyway.  And it was waaaay fucking better than any of this.

All things considered...  I like that Charles is back.  Even if he's younger and different... and, in the background.. and none of this really matters, ‘cause it’ll get reset anyway.

In the meantime, it’s still interesting.  And I guess that’s why I collected this in the first place.  Because it seemed interesting.  So that’s that.